I am new to blogging, however; I hope that someone out there who is walking a few steps behind me on this path of raising an Autistic child can benefit from my experiences. Perhaps this will give hope when you feel none and peace in your turmoil.
Let me tell you about my son, S.Q., is 6 years old and such a great child. He is smart and funny! The boy that for years now has been trapped inside him is beginning to surface and our joy is over flowing! We first received his diagnosis at the age of 2. We saw the signs early on and knew where we were headed. This was to our advantage that early intervention began as soon as he turned two years old. His initial diagnosis left us numb however; the docs did not think he would ever talk, potty train, or be self sufficient in any way. As my husband and I worked through this information neither of us felt any peace or ease. We did research on our own and spent a lot time talking and praying. We both felt strongly that our child's future was more than his diagnosis and we were setting in to fight. A fight that at times felt hopeless and foolish, but has reaped great rewards!
Here are some truths that we decided upon:
1. God created S.Q., meaning He has a plan and purpose for him.
2. The world is never going to change to fit S.Q. or make him comfortable. S.Q. must learn to deal with the world.
3. Our expectations for S.Q. will be high, regardless of the Autism.
4. We will not create a "bubble" world to keep him happy, the only way to win a battle is to be on the battle field.
5. There is no magic cure. He will always be Autistic. Our goal as parents will be to prepare him to live in a non-autistic world.
With these truths in hand we stepped up and on. When we went to the store so did S.Q.. If he had a melt down we worked through it. Yes, we received comments and yes it could be embarrassing, but remember this very important truth: NO ONE HAS A CLUE WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH. SO THEIR OPINION IS MEANINGLESS. At first, I thought I needed to explain to anyone passing by that he was Autistic, but that got old. I had to come to understand that even with that knowledge without spending a day in my shoes no one would understand. So, now I ignore the stares and comments and do not think badly of those people simply because they are responding out of ignorance. They simply do not know what I do; so how can I hold that against them?
We took S.Q. to baseball games, hokey games, movies, fairs, etc... Anywhere that would be fun and he would get rewarded by the experience. However, I am aware this was not easy for him. All the sensory input was at times very overwhelming for him. It hurt my heart to know he was hurting, but with each outing, each experience the melt downs began to ease. But it simply took time. There were days when we just wanted to throw in the towel believe me it wasn't easy. It was moments like those that we were always reminded that his pain and frustration was greater.
We had an wonderful surprise enter our world with the birth of my other son, Andrew. Andrew is not on the spectrum at all. I would venture to say he is the opposite of S.Q. There is only 18 months between the two boys and I can say with full confidence for us that Andrew is the best therapy S.Q. has ever had. It didn't take long for Andrew to catch up and then pass his big brother developmentally. And this just bothered S.Q. so as Andrew grew, S.Q. fought to keep up and suddenly we were seeing leaps and bounds in S.Q.'s development. What a blessing that little boy has been for our family!
Now I am sure you need a break from reading this. So, I will leave you with this for now and will continue this story for you because you are going to be amazed! I have such pride in my children and such blessings from God. Its too much for one post. Until tomorrow. Here are a few things for you Autism parents to think about: what are YOUR truths for your child and family. How can you apply these truths to best serve your child and family?
